About Me

Rudy Bauer is a clinical psychologist and practioner of phenomenology and dzogchen awareness. Sharon is a psychotherapist and has practiced and taught meditation for 30 years.

Friday, February 24, 2012

In Between

The in between zone of time and timelessness has been worth it’s weightlessness in gold in my life lately.. and for that, I am very grateful to all of the teachers who continue to inspire me. That space seems to be filled with gratitude and compassion and light. So pure and so supportive, surrounding my whole being, in my whole being. It does pervade the space around me- around everything.

I remember finding a pinpoint of an opening into this in between zone and stepped inside of it, one little extension at a time. I had to go very slowly and inch my way, waiting for this space to warm and expand around me, and then I had to integrate it into my life.
Then, another tiny step, expand, integrate. More light. More space. I was still in the dark but carried on this tedious task out of pure stubbornness sometimes. Sometimes, I would totally lose my place in this process and even forget about it.... somehow, though, I kept moving and inching my way forward, like a little green inchworm. I wriggled my way into the light very carefully like I was trying to get into an old dress without ripping it.

Holding onto the light, and letting it go at the same time has been like walking a tightrope made of angel hair, and the suitcase of stuff I was carrying with me definitely had to go. What is was filled with had to be taken out and dealt with in my own way.
I had to let go of so much stuff that really wasn’t me or mine. That was the work.

As you know, this isn’t easy. It takes time. Patience. And, faith that this is all for a reason and to fulfill the highest purpose of one’s life...faith and patience to keep walking one step at a time towards finding this freedom, this pure blissful consciousness where one would find that the inside and the outside are one.

Everyone has there own way and their own process...this is just mine. I feel that I’ve finally lost the weight and was able to zip that dress up. It suits me. It is comfortable and I’m not walking a tightrope anymore. I’m not carrying a suitcase. I am still learning. I’m still working. I’m still integrating. But, there is more time where I am sitting in the space in between here and there which is both here and there. There is a feeling of the inside and outside being the same. There is a lovely light in my heart that is guiding me now... into more light, ever opening, ever expanding, ever radiant. Extending into that truth and stepping into it fully is my walk.   I've come to know this as Timeless Awareness.  To come alive in Timeless Awareness, to step into that realm holding non duality in a world of differences,  is a divine invitation.

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