About Me

Rudy Bauer is a clinical psychologist and practioner of phenomenology and dzogchen awareness. Sharon is a psychotherapist and has practiced and taught meditation for 30 years.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Outside the Window

I’d like to tell you a little story that is true....

One day, I had completely exhausted all of my usual ways of entertaining myself and I still had time to fill. I had played with my dolls and colored, and God knows what else. So, I decided to sit and look out the window. The next step unfolded quite naturally. I thought that I would experiment to see what something could happen while doing nothing. Something out of nothing! I was very curious about what might happen. But, I had no idea what! So, I turned our big cushy chair around to face the window and sat in it. I decided to just look at the big maple tree in front of our house and sit in the chair. And I waited. I just gazed. I think I had enough faith and curiosity combined to just simply sit and see. I felt empty.

That was the action within non action. I was opening to a possibility. Sitting there felt satisfying enough. And, I began to explore the tree very slowly. I was aware of how clear this picture was. I saw the branches and the different shades of black and the green of the leaves. My vision took in the shape of the leaves, baby leaves and really big ones, their directions hanging on the limb, the different sizes of the branches and twigs and how they were all so unique, like snowflakes. I traced their own path to reach the sun. I was lead to discover the space between the branches and a whole new world within that space. I noticed that I was very still and actively calm. There was a sweet, warm energy flowing in my body and mind.

Then, I began to notice something very interesting. And, very exciting and new! I couldn’t think about it with my mind! I was just allowed to notice it with my experience of what was inside of me and what was outside of me. It was like the window that was separating me and the outside just opened up. And, that openness was the something! The tree and me were having the same experience of “something”! We weren’t two separate things anymore, me and the tree. The “something” that was glistening cool diamonds of light sparkling in the tree and the sky and the branches and leaves was the same cool sweet feeling moving inside my whole body. I could sense myself in the tree and the tree could sense me and we perfectly still together even though the leaves were moving. We were occupying the same space. Just open light and love together, in this endless moment of pure awareness and being. It was all around me, in me, outside of me .and it was all the same. The tree was alive in me. It was in my eyes, my hair, my arms, my whole body, and I was inside of the branches and the trunk and the leaves and all the never-ending spaces in between. One becoming two and two becoming one.

When I experienced this, I felt so happy. I was amazed and very satisfied to know that there really was something in nothing, and that my question had been answered. I was very happy to be alive and grateful to know the secret living in the tree and in me. I didn’t quite know what to do with this information, but there was a completion in just knowing it. I saw the tree , went through it and found the sky on the other side. It was emptiness and it was fullness, simultaneously. Then, I heard my mother call me for lunch.

Written by Karen Ferguson

Thursday, July 21, 2011


Recently I became aware of another dimension of being, another realm of experience of pure awareness that seemed, at once, totally divine and totally natural. I would not be able to separate the two. In it, I moved, breathed and sat in a large expanse of energy that was a crystalline structure of infinite length and depth. The matter of which it was formed was that of the highest and most refined light and of the essence of purity. Trying to describe this dimension is like trying to catch a reflection of a prism on a sunny day. It was there only to embrace with the entirety of my being. Ripples of light danced on the smooth surface of a pristine blue lake, extending into the horizon, and into the depths below. There was a silent echo in this space. Being in it and of it, there was a soft flow and a natural protection around me, which was so comforting. I know this space so intimately and trust it so deeply. I know that this is not a dissociative or disembodied state of consciousness that I’m experiencing. Nor, is it a trance state.

There is also a feeling of an intelligent force beyond me that is shining and revealing everything encircling this field around me. I sense intensity in this crystal home but it is more a benevolent healing frequency that bears no burden. It is like swimming in a crystal sea that has miraculous powers of purification, but there is no water. With every breath I am aware of this soft and natural light moving in me and around me. It is as if the light is filling every cell and each cell is opening to grace. There is an endless fountain of love to move in and with. It belongs to me and I am very grateful to all of my great teachers who embody this light and have lived in this truth. They have been so patient and so kind.

I am myself, truly and peacefully. As I extend into this light, I am saddened that there are people who are outside of this light. My wish is that everyone comes to know the light of their own Self. The crystal palace, as Rudy named it, is “home sweet home”. I want everyone to bathe in this soft water of love.

Healing resides in the crystal palace of the sambogakaya realm. I have found myself enveloped by light that embraces time and dissolves the edges of limitation. In this natural surrounding everything is effortless. Healing descends in this eternal abode of light. There is an omnipotent field of possibility and it seems sealed off, like a room without walls. It seems sealed in a vacuum of light and the master healers are busy at work. I am in a timeless void and merge in this light. I am healed as well. I have come to love this process and know that this process loves me.I feel myself moving in this light and am waking up to it’s presence with such delight and joy. It is like a great Homecoming.

If you like, you may join me in entering this realm. There really isn’t much to do, I don’t think, because it will just appear. There really isn’t anything to look for, either. You may begin to feel yourself being supported by the most benevolent field of energy. You may feel that your heart naturally grows and expands. You can lean forward an inch and may become aware of a cushiony presence of light that is so soft to the touch. It is a loving presence and with it there is a deep recognition and total acceptance of your entire being. With every breath you are able to move freely and more deeply into this gentle but strong presence. You might notice a feeling of timelessness and support beneath you and all around you. Notice the feeling of being held and completely known by this gentle breath of light. This is the world of light, within you and all around you. You are being invited to know that this is your own true Self; this is your true home. Even as you open your eyes, and become aware of the world around you, the crystal light of beingness remains. This light stays on.

Written by Karen Ferguson