About Me

Rudy Bauer is a clinical psychologist and practioner of phenomenology and dzogchen awareness. Sharon is a psychotherapist and has practiced and taught meditation for 30 years.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Graduation and Baby Gnosis

Graduation and Baby Gnosis

I went to a Pre-Kindergarden graduation yesterday for my stepson’s girlfriend’s 5 year old boy.  The boy and I have a sweet connection.  We have been playmates since my stepson came into his life before he was a year old.  Historically, this little boy’s parents despise one another.  Besides his divorced parents, he has two sets of biological grandparents who have all divorced and are with someone else or remarried, an 11 year old half brother whose biological father died when he was three, his father’s second wife and their year old son, and a colorful assortment of aunts and uncles and cousins from both parents as well as his step parent’s parents and their parents.   At the graduation, his mother and father were there with their spouses, parents and children and one or two aunts.  All in all there were around 15 close family members at his graduation.  The hostility between the parents was invisible and silent, but clearly apparent.  When I introduced myself to the boy’s father, I was immediately texted by my stepson describing this person’s past behavior and told to refrain from speaking to him.  It was the “Hatfields and Mccoys” all over again.

The 10 little ones paraded in their rented red caps and gowns.  They sang songs, pledged their allegiance and received their diplomas.  Proud parents videoed and took pictures.  The children were all smiles except for one little girl who kept running to her parents and grandparents for hugs and reassurance and tear wiping.
Even the teachers were sniffling as they talked about each child and what they would miss about each one.  It was my first “kid’s graduation.”  The love in the air was palpable.

I stood in the back as the chairs were filled, and I noticed that my little graduate was focusing on me.  I was resonating with love in the sweetness of the moment..and the little guy had a sweet smile on his lips as he looked at me.  He was gazing into my eyes, and the transmission was occurring naturally between us.  Everything faded around us as we entered the field of pure awareness together.  He was taking in the support of the field and the pure love in this extension and transmission.  We were radiating together in the Heart Essence.  I know there was healing for him in this timeless moment as I felt him in his little freedom and expanse, totally independent of this spectacle before him.  He was finding his own experience of wholeness and happiness.  I could see him filling up.  It was just us in the room in that moment.

Afterwards, this boy’s mother, her sister, my stepson and his parents (my husband and his ex) and me and the grandmother and her boyfriend spouse all met at a restaurant.  He grabbed an open seat beside me on the bench and sat close to me.  We chatted and played and spoke together quietly.  He put his head on my shoulder.  He was resting in the healing space of nonduality that we created together. Baby Gnosis is still alive and well for this little boy.   It was a happy ending to a happy beginning and vice versa.   In September, he will be in Kindergarden.

Sunday, June 2, 2013


Looking deeply into the presence of my own awareness, I at once embody and journey into the material of consciousness as it appears in my body.  I am aware that as I am sitting here in meditation, I can see the thick expanse of an interplay of light and dark and feel sensations of bliss as the centers in my head open.  Like the flowers in my kitchen, I am blossoming .

Empowerments given by a great master, Yangtang Tulke Rinpoche, must be taking root. The seeds were planted in early spring and are being watered in meditation.  A subtle force like a current sweeps through my being, awakening a deeper truth.  My foundation feels more strong and firm, and more beautiful.  What was unknown in the foundation of my being, or in question, or doubt, has been repaired.  What I am really made of, this material of consciousness, is appearing.  It seems like a fine time for refinement.  I welcome the master craftsman from the divine realms who are assisting me in this movement towards more light in my life.

We are building from nothingness to knowingness.  The foundation, and now the walls are going up. They are made with a fabric like a dragonfly fly’s wing, so the breeze can pass through.  I hear the voice of the spirit calling me.  It is a whisper of softness, a vibration that is felt as subtly as this breeze blowing through me. It is calling me to take my seat among the others, and join them as they sit.  At first, one buddha image, then ten, then hundreds, thousands, multiplying, they are everywhere.  They appear as Buddhas, but they feel like me.  They are giving great support, and  filling the house of my being.  The buddhas are very still, colorful and tiny points of light.  They are smiling gently, and awake.  They change from having Buddha's face to my face.  I am in good company.  The visions or gift of Sambhogakaya melts into pure awareness.  Birthing, manifesting, reseeding, and perpetually blossoming as Dharmakaya, the great wheel turns as she reveals her secrets.

written by Karen Ferguson