Speaking of Consciousness

Triggers

2012-01-09T06:37:00.000-08:00

Lately, I'm hearing alot about people's "triggers". It seems like it's in the air. Maybe it was the holidays, when we can be flooded with cellular memories of not getting everything we wanted, when everyone else did! In this regard, we're all in the same boat. But, having lots of opportunities this season to watch people I love being triggered by people and situations, this surely wasn't what I wished for them. There were lots of facets to this hairball of a phenomena. Those triggers could appear in different disguises while sweeping their victims into a swirling vortex of intense emotion, or slap them with a pie in the face, creating blurred vision. If one is on the receiving end of someone's trigger episode, it can be helpful to all involved to remain calm.

I recently had a first hand experience of watching a friend become triggered, who then projected the regurgitated material onto this writer. Here are some of my observations from this encounter:

1. The triggered eyes became glazed over, and twice the size, and alternately cringed together into tiny slits.

2. The person looked at me as if I was an enemy instead of the friend I thought I was.

3. Illogical conclusions were presented as logical with reasoning to prove it.

4. Judgements and accusations were hurled in an attempt to resolve the triggered unconscious material. Also, an underlying mist of sarcasm and hostility was detected.

Surprisingly, my past experience on both sides of the fence, (and I have to pray my meditation practice as well,) gave me some kind of inner awareness that guided me through this with a new focus. I'm going to try and break it down. First, I found myself being present to the situation, fully embodied. I did not dissociate into a fragmented place where I clung to an inner iceberg, trying not to drown. Next, I did not retreat into myself, but maintained focus by extending to the person speaking to me. I noticed this helped me be centered and grounded and see the various elements of this mandala. I felt feelings throughout, but they were also part of the mandala. Defensiveness, anger, fear, the power of the person's triggered state, and the unconscious intention of trying to knock me off balance, were all part of my awareness. I felt the potential triggers that were literally springing up in my own ego and mind and then watched them fall away, too weak to gain a foothold. I heard the attempt to make me the perpetrator of this trigger. I offered a rational explanation, but this was discounted and the effort to avoid "owning" the trigger continued. I heard the mutual and familiar distant wail of two former victims, both well versed in victimhood. Here is where I became very clear in how to respond. Rather than engage an argument or become defensive, I said something like, "Sorry I can't help you out with this." The person continued to press on about why the trigger occurred and that if I wasn't the cause of it, she would have to "figure out why she was triggered". I agreed, nonverbally, but the statement seemed cloaked in doubt as to my innocence.

I've thought about the change in my posturing in this familiar situation. I felt very strong, and knew I didn't want to stop the suffering of either party by assuming any responsibility or explaining away the situation, other than giving the straight facts. I detached. But, something new is that I didn't get smaller as a result. I gained power by not giving it away. I remained present to the mandala in time, and continued to extend through the situation , in timelessness. This practice was the golden key in a very sensitive moment even as the outcome of the situation remains unclear.

Consciousness, however, is perfectly clear. It's nature is compassion, and that is the trigger I wish to hold and contain. I pray that this tangled perception was seen by the eye of compassion, and hence purified and hopefully released. That is my prayer, the healing chod, the song of healing.

May all those triggers and those triggered be seen with the eye of compassion. Also, may those of us who continue to find ourselves presented with difficulties that bring up painful, frightening and even suffocating emotions from the arenas of our lives, find comfort in knowing that we are all spiraling inside the light of healing and compassion, the light of pure consciousness. Finding that eye in the storm, may we always remain in compassion's embrace.

Written by Karen Ferguson

Speaking of Consciousness

2011-11-11T06:30:00.000-08:00

Speaking of consciousness, a smile arises with my breath, like the ocean waves coming into shore, happily greeting my toes. The smile extends there, into my feet. I sense the outline of my body, the substances filling it, the structure supporting it, the personality abiding. Past, present and future are all accounted for in time and timelessness. Traces of truth remain, as I watch the water dissolve into the sand.

The sun and the moon make great companions, but rarely see one another. One is hidden, the other displayed. Sometimes, they can be seen in the sky together, when they whisper as dawn breaks, our light is one. They appear separate; the sun and the moon, the forest and the trees, the sky and the birds, the water and the sand.

Speaking of Consciousness, my breath once again becomes a smile upon my face. The sun is there to warm me, the moon cooling my back, shooting through my heart's abode. It is here, it is there. It is in- between here and there. Mirrors surround and catch the image of the mandala, constantly changing it’s perfect display of colored seconds of time, washed clean with a crashing wave. Foam crested waters immerse what was held in that instant, sheer, like the mist. Don’t be fooled by the changing scenery.

Speaking of Consciousness, my feet want to dance. My arms want to swing and my heart wants to jump for joy. My hands want to come together, to clap, to pray. My body wants to twirl and reach to the sky, my nose wants to take in the smells of the dirt and all the rotting leaves and the chill in the air. My ears are free and sounds swirl through them. I want to give birth. My child is born of this smiling light. Countless babies of bliss bounce through the air, like bubbles or balloons making there ascension. They are gone now.

Speaking of Consciousness, all of nature take their places, like the pages of a book , blank until the words are written. What once was a black and white world has become a magical spiraling field of light, full of colors that have no names. The base is this radiance, brilliant light. Who is mixing these gorgeous hues? Who is the palette holder and who is creating this scene before my eyes? I’ve heard the name whispered in the wind. It contains all the letters and all the names and all the sounds. They swirl together like leaves falling, and delight in carrying them softly to the ground. The sound they make as they touch the earth, that is the name, speaking of consciousness.

written by Karen Ferguson

Mudra of Time and Timelessness

2011-10-19T05:46:00.001-07:00

Mudra of Time and Timelessness

The simple mudra of lightly touching the tip of the first finger to the tip of the thumb connects, brings together, time in timelessness and timelessness in time. This invaluable, easy gesture of the hand reminds us where we are in any given situation. It is a gesture that brings us to the precise and present moment of whatever circumstance we are in. In this shared instant of now, time and timelessness effortlessly balance one another.

If pulled apart or separated, time and timelessness lose coherence. Without time, timelessness floats with no meaningful ‘where’ in the vast and open oneness of singularity. And time, without its timeless companion, gets stuck, pinned, by its own overabundant focus on endless parcels and bits…fragments of occurrences, whether real or anticipated, of situations past, or present, or yet to come. In this way, time catches itself, ensnares itself, in the ‘thingness’ of events. With no abiding ‘whereness’ of time, we too become caught and cannot fully meet, cannot fully connect, with the moment of our situation. Without timelessness, there is no felt place in time in which to be.

And so, these two entities of timelessness and time provide a context, an unfolding frame, for each other; one holds both the other as well as itself. So too are we as ourselves, as your self and my self, simultaneously held in both time and timelessness. We can now know naturally and easily the ‘where’ of our situation, whatever it may be. In this way, we can meet a circumstance and take agency, for a place in time now has meaning. And at this triangulated point of self and time and timelessness, we can just be. Never lost to time, never lost in ‘no time’, this point moves like liquid light. It is the leading edge of light and is not different now from what it was several minutes ago, or from what it will be several minutes from now. It is compass and map and place all at once…pointing to now, now, now…a known time held always in the timeless present in the life of every situation.

The mudra…the index finger flexed and lightly pressing against the thumb, the thumb gently staying the finger…is method. We can now choose to be fully present in any given moment. The mudra gives us a way to do that: The beingness of our own being emerges and unfolds where time and timelessness simultaneously hold and release the moment of every circumstance. And we are here, living now from this place in the clarity of continuously flowing time.

Written by: Erin Johannesen, M.A., M.D.

Edited by: Rudolph Bauer, Ph.D.

GAZING AS DZOCHEN

2011-08-24T05:54:00.000-07:00

1. WE LOOK THROUGH THE MIND AND WE GAZE WITHIN AWARENESS…BECOMING AWARE OF AWARENESS IS THE PATH OF GAZING (WHETHER YOUR EYES ARE OPENED OR CLOSED)…WE CAN GAZE INTO AWARENESS AND WE ARE IMMEDIATELY THE FIELD, THE FIELD OF BEING. IF WE LOOK AND LOOK FOR AWARENESS WITH OUR MIND ONLY BLANKNESS ARISES, A BLANK STATE. SUNYATA, PRIMORDIAL KNOWINGNESS, IS NOT BLANKNESS, IT IS NOT BLANKING OUT. AS WE BECOME AWARE OF AWARENESS WE ENTER THE GAZE, WE BECOME THE PLACE OF THE GAZE…THIS GAZING FROM WITHIN AWARENESS OPENS THE MULTIDIMENSIONALNESS .…THE DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS OF THE FIELD MANIFEST WITHIN THE GAZE, WITHIN US . THE GAZE IS BOTH WITHIN US AND BEYOND US. WITHIN THE GAZE THERE IS NEITHER SIMPLE INSIDE OR SIMPLE OUTSIDE. THE GAZE IS PLACE ..A VAST PLACE BEYOND INSIDE AND OUTSIDE.

THERE ARE MANY FORMS OF GAZING. AT TIMES WE GAZE THROUGH THE EYES OF THE MIND, (HEART CHANNELS), WE CAN GAZE THROUGH THE ENTIRE BODY, WE CAN GAZE THROUGH THE HEART ESSENCE, HRIDAYAM. WE CAN GAZE THROUGH TOUCH, WE CAN GAZE THROUGH SOUND, WE GAZE THROUGH SIGHT. WE CAN GAZE INTO VARIOUS PHENOMENA…ALL DIRECTLY…UNMEDIATED..WE CAN GAZE INTO SKY, WE CAN GAZE INTO DEATH, WE CAN GAZE IN THE PRE PERSONAL, GAZING INTO SOMA, GAZING INTO THE ELEMENTS, GAZING INTO THE DAKINI, THE VORTEXUAL, THE ELEMENT OF FLESH, WE GAZE INTO PSYCHE..THE GAZE ITSELF IS PSYCHE, NOT MIND.

GAZING BOTH LEADS TO AND IS GNOSIS, JHNANA..DIRECT PERCEPTION. TOGEL, THE LEAPING OVER PRACTICE, IS NOT SIMPLY GAZING INTO THE SKY, ALTHOUGH SKY GAZING IS ITS CULTURAL AND HISTORICAL ELABORATION. IF YOU WISH TO LIVE IN GNOSIS THEN GAZE…GAZING IS THE MOST DIRECT OF METHODS.. THE GAZING METHODS OF DZOGCHEN ARE OFTEN SECRET AND PROTECTED.

2.GAZING BRINGS FORTH THE SENSE OF PLACE…LOOKING.. LOOKING.. BRINGS FORTH SUBJECT OBJECT DUALITY…LOOKING BRINGS FORTH OBJECTIFICATION AND CLARITY. THE GAZE UPLIFTS THE LOOK. THE LOOK LOOKS AT, THE GAZE ALLOWS THE VAST PLACE TO OPEN..HUMAN BEINGS ARE PLACES, OPEN PLACES IN THE SEA OF QI. GAZING IS A PLACE THAT OPENS THE PLACE OF PHENOMENA..AND GAZING OPENS THE MULTIDIMENSIONALNESS OF PHENOMENA, OPENS THE KAYAS.

GAZING INTO ONES AWARENESS ALLOWS US TO GAZE INTO AWARENESS WITHIN ALL PHENOMENA..IN GAZING WE BECOME THE PLACE OF APPEARANCE MANIFESTING, IN GAZING WE BECOME THE PLACE OF THE APPARITIONAL MANIFESTATIONS, AND IN GAZING WE BECOME THE OPENNESS OF THE DHARMAKAYA. THIS PLACE IS THE PLACE OF DIMENSIONALITY…BECOMING THE DIMENSIONS

3.GAZE IS THE OPENNESS OF DHARMAKAYA MANIFESTING AS THE OPENNESS OF LUMINOUS SEEING WHICH IS KNOWING, GNOSIS, DIRECT PERCEPTION, JHANA. THIS GAZING TAKES PLACE WITHIN AND THROUGH OUR PRIMORDIAL SUBJECTIVITY, NOT THE SUBJECTIVITY OF CONTAINED MIND, THE NATURAL OPENNESS OF US TO THE OPENNESS OF THE GREAT EXPANSE. GAZING IS AN INFINITE PROCESS IN THE SENSE OF ITS UNBOUNDEDNESS..GAZING HAS NO FRAMING, NO MIND PICTURE, NO MENTAL ELABORATION. THE BEINGNESS OF BEING MANIFEST WITHIN AND THROUGH THE GAZE…THE PLACE OF THE GAZE IS THE PLACE OF THE MANIFESTATION OF THE KAYAS. THE NATURE OF AWARENESS IS THE OPENNESS OF GAZE…THE OPENNESS OF AWARENESS IS THE OPENNESS OF THE GAZE..IN OUR HEART OF HEARTS WE ARE THE GAZE…INNERMOST HEART ESSENCE.

4. IN THE GAZE YOU DO NOT SIMPLY SEE AN OBJECT, YOU BECOME THE PLACE OF THE GAZE AND IN THAT PLACE YOU BECOME THE PLACE OF MANIFESTATION, THE PLACE OF BRINGING FORTH…BRINGING FORTH THE BEINGNESS OF BEING….THE BEINGNESS OF BEING MANIFESTING THROUGH AND AS APPEARANCE, NIRMANAKAYA. THE BEINGNESS OF BEING MANIFESTING THROUGH AND AS APPARITIONAL ..THE PLACE OF APPARITIONAL,THE SAMBOGAKAYA, AND BEING IN ITS UNMANIFESTEDNESS……AS DHARMAKAYA

5..GAZING IS THE FIELD..THE FIELD IS GAZING INTO THE FIELD. WHEN YOU GAZE YOU ARE THE EXPERIENTIAL PLACE OF THE FIELD. THE FIELD GAZES THROUGH MIND AND ALSO BEYOND THE MIND. ACTUALLY, A HUMAN BEING IS THE PLACE OF THE GAZE WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF THE MIND BODY CONTINUUM IN SPACE AND TIME. GAZE REFLECTS SOURCE AND IS SOURCE.

6. THE GAZE IS THE RADIANCE OF AWARENESS, THE OPENNESS OF AWARENESS, THE PLACE OF AWARENESS. THE GAZE CAN COME THROUGH EYES AND EARS AND SENSATION. IN GAZING YOU BECOME EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE.. A PLACE OF GAZE..BETWEEN HEAVEN AND EARTH.

7. EXTENSION IS A WAY OF LEARNING TO GAZE..IN SKILLFULNESS THE GAZE AND EXTENSION ARE IN ONENESS…..GAZE AND EXTENSION ULTIMATELY ARE IN ONENESS…SAMANTRABADRI AND SAMANTRABADRA. THE GAZE IS QI OF ONENESS. PASSING THROUGH IS THE ACTION SKILL OF THE GAZE.. GAZE IS NOT A SUBJECT OBJECT RELATION. GAZE IS THE FIELD WHEREIN SUBJECTIVITY AND OBJECTS MANIFEST AS DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS OF THE WORLD…ONE FLESH. NO ONE HAS THE GAZE..YOU ARE THE GAZE..PASSING THOUGH A PERSON, PASSING THROUGH CIRCUMSTANCE, PASSING THROUGH SITUATION, PASSING THROUGH THE BOUNDARIES OF LIFE AND DEATHLESS STATE, PASSING THROUGH MEMORY, PASSING THROUGH EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING. PASSING THROUGH IS SOARING, PASSING THROUGH IS BEING A SKY GOER.

8. IN AND THROUGH GAZING THE PLACE OF THE GAZE BECOMES THE PLACE OF THE MANIFESTATION OF AWARENESS IN ALL ITS DIMENSIONS.. THE GAZE IS TIMELESS AWARENESS IN DUALITY AND TIMELESS AWARENESS IN NON DUALITY. THE GAZE HAS RANGE. THE GAZE IS NAKED AWARENESS AND THE OPENING OF THE BEINGNESS OF BEING THROUGH ALL PHENOMENA.

9. IN THE GAZE APPEARANCES REVEAL THEMSELVES, APPARITIONAL DIMENSION REVEALS ITSELF, AND DHARMAKAYA REVEALS ITSELF. THROUGH THE GAZE EVERYTHING IS UNCONCEALED..THAT IS WHY THE GAZE IS SO DIFFICULT AND SO EASY.

THE GAZE IS THE APOCALYPTIC FIRE…THE GAZE DESTROYS NEGATION, DESTROYS HORRIBLE INFLUENCES AND DESTRUCTIVE INFLUENCES. THE GAZE IS BENEVOLENCE AND FIERCENESS. THE GAZE IS THE BLAZING FIRE OF THE SUN. THE GAZE IS THE VAJRAKILAYA, THE GAZE IS THE PHUBA. THE GAZE BOTH BRINGS FORTH AND THE GAZE DESTROYS, RELEASES WHAT IS TO BE RELEASED. OM RULU RULU HUNG HO RULU.

10.THE GAZE IS A GIVENNESS AND TRANSMISSION.., THE GAZE IS THE PLACE, THE LOCUS OF TRANSMISSION OF AWARENESS.

11. THE GAZE IS THE SOURCE OF INVOCATION AND BRINGS FORTH APPARITIONAL DIMENSIONS. WITHOUT THE GAZE AND NOT BEING WITHIN GAZE THERE IS NO INVOCATIONAL POWER….NOTHING CAN BE BROUGHT FORTH FROM WITHIN AS THE PLACE ITSELF DOES NOT EXIST FOR APPEARANCE TO MANIFEST. DESIRE SHOULD BE HELD WITHIN THE GAZE…THEN FRUITION IS POSSIBLE.

12. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE THE HUMAN FACE WITHOUT BEING IN THE GAZE. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE THE HUMAN BEING WITHOUT BEING IN THE GAZE. THE GAZE IS NOT AN AFFECT, AND NOT A SENSATION, AND NOT A DREAM. THE GAZE IN ITS FULLNESS IS THE MANIFESTATION OF THE GREAT COMPASSION, THE BODHICITTA. THE GREAT COMPASSION IS THE GAZE …JHANA DHATU.

13. THE GAZE GIVES THE POWER OF AWARENESS FIELD TO ANOTHER..WE TRANSMIT THROUGH THE GAZE AND WE CAN TRANSMIT THE POWER OF THE GAZE TO EACH OTHER.

14. THE GAZE OF COMPASSION IS THE GREAT PROTECTION…THE GAZE IS BOTH BENEFICENT AND FIERCE. THE FIRE, THE BLAZINGNESS OF THE GAZES, CUTS THROUGH TERRIBLE INFLUENCES, NEGATIVE INFLUENCE , DEMONIC LIKE INFLUENCE. THE GAZE LIBERATES, LIBERATES US WITHIN THE FIELD, DISSOLVING, METABOLIZING WHATEVER HAS TO BE DISSOLVED. THE GAZING INTO HISTORY DISSOLVES THE GRASP OF HISTORY. GAZING INTO THE VARIOUS PLANETARY ENERGIES CREATES ATTUNEMENT AND PACIFICATION. GAZING IS THE PATH OF LIBERATION.

15. YESHE TSOGYAL SAYS THE FEELING OF LOVE PERFECTS THE GLANCE. LOVE PERFECTS THE GLANCE AS LIGHTENING. THE EMITTING OF LIGHT, THE EMITTING OF BRILLIANCE, CREATING AND DESTROYING, DISSOLVING, RELEASING…RELEASING, AND RELEASING. PADMASAMBHAVA SAYS I GIVE MYSELF AS A SPOUSE TO ALL BEINGS.

ANALYTIC MIND INTERPRETING GAZING..MIND INTERPRETING PSYCHE……ONE DIMENSION INTERPRETING A MORE PROFOUND DIMENSION..HISTORICAL MIND INTERPRETING A HISTORICAL EXPERIENCE.

OM AH HUM, BODHICITTA, MAHA SUKA, JHANA DATU AH.

A Breeze Runs Through It

2011-08-22T17:36:00.000-07:00

On my walk this morning, there was a beautiful breeze that revealed the scent of late summer, and the longed for perfect circumstances for basking in the sweet sunshine. There was a current of bliss riding on the underbelly of the wind, which was silent, but I could hear it calling to me. This current was hitting all my senses at once, even beyond the physical ones, and my heart heard a song softly playing. In this symphony of light and awareness, I walked. I was fully awake and tuned in without the noise of my mind tagging along. Here, my feet found eternity. Timeless awareness in now time, embodied. As I moved along, the displays of light and shadows, cool and warm breezes, sounds and silence, blue sky and white clouds, all joined in as the instruments in the symphony played their music like masters. Or, like a painter who painted with awareness for a canvas. Dancing leaves, trees tall and short, birds flying freely, all riding on the wave of pure and basic joy.

I did sense a presence behind and within the breeze that was so full and so deep and so palpable, and once I noticed it, I was in it. It captured me. The expanse in front of me became more clear, scintillating and dimensional. Everyone and everything, and what was not seen, were all included in the openness that surrounded me. The breeze was so soft that my heart felt like it was resting on a golden pillow. I was in heaven. My body was on the earth, and I was completely embodying this experience. I felt as if I was being welcomed home.

Muktananda, the bliss of freedom. The hub is the heart of all sacred places...Nityananda. Satchitananda: existence, consciousness and bliss. Lokananda samadhi sukum. The bliss of the world is the Bliss of the Self. Jesus: I am the way, the truth and the light.

The breeze of grace sweeps my path clean. I need only stay on it. Join me.

Outside the Window

2011-07-22T09:11:00.000-07:00

I’d like to tell you a little story that is true....

One day, I had completely exhausted all of my usual ways of entertaining myself and I still had time to fill. I had played with my dolls and colored, and God knows what else. So, I decided to sit and look out the window. The next step unfolded quite naturally. I thought that I would experiment to see what something could happen while doing nothing. Something out of nothing! I was very curious about what might happen. But, I had no idea what! So, I turned our big cushy chair around to face the window and sat in it. I decided to just look at the big maple tree in front of our house and sit in the chair. And I waited. I just gazed. I think I had enough faith and curiosity combined to just simply sit and see. I felt empty.

That was the action within non action. I was opening to a possibility. Sitting there felt satisfying enough. And, I began to explore the tree very slowly. I was aware of how clear this picture was. I saw the branches and the different shades of black and the green of the leaves. My vision took in the shape of the leaves, baby leaves and really big ones, their directions hanging on the limb, the different sizes of the branches and twigs and how they were all so unique, like snowflakes. I traced their own path to reach the sun. I was lead to discover the space between the branches and a whole new world within that space. I noticed that I was very still and actively calm. There was a sweet, warm energy flowing in my body and mind.

Then, I began to notice something very interesting. And, very exciting and new! I couldn’t think about it with my mind! I was just allowed to notice it with my experience of what was inside of me and what was outside of me. It was like the window that was separating me and the outside just opened up. And, that openness was the something! The tree and me were having the same experience of “something”! We weren’t two separate things anymore, me and the tree. The “something” that was glistening cool diamonds of light sparkling in the tree and the sky and the branches and leaves was the same cool sweet feeling moving inside my whole body. I could sense myself in the tree and the tree could sense me and we perfectly still together even though the leaves were moving. We were occupying the same space. Just open light and love together, in this endless moment of pure awareness and being. It was all around me, in me, outside of me .and it was all the same. The tree was alive in me. It was in my eyes, my hair, my arms, my whole body, and I was inside of the branches and the trunk and the leaves and all the never-ending spaces in between. One becoming two and two becoming one.

When I experienced this, I felt so happy. I was amazed and very satisfied to know that there really was something in nothing, and that my question had been answered. I was very happy to be alive and grateful to know the secret living in the tree and in me. I didn’t quite know what to do with this information, but there was a completion in just knowing it. I saw the tree , went through it and found the sky on the other side. It was emptiness and it was fullness, simultaneously. Then, I heard my mother call me for lunch.

Written by Karen Ferguson

Sambogakaya

2011-07-21T16:48:00.000-07:00

Recently I became aware of another dimension of being, another realm of experience of pure awareness that seemed, at once, totally divine and totally natural. I would not be able to separate the two. In it, I moved, breathed and sat in a large expanse of energy that was a crystalline structure of infinite length and depth. The matter of which it was formed was that of the highest and most refined light and of the essence of purity. Trying to describe this dimension is like trying to catch a reflection of a prism on a sunny day. It was there only to embrace with the entirety of my being. Ripples of light danced on the smooth surface of a pristine blue lake, extending into the horizon, and into the depths below. There was a silent echo in this space. Being in it and of it, there was a soft flow and a natural protection around me, which was so comforting. I know this space so intimately and trust it so deeply. I know that this is not a dissociative or disembodied state of consciousness that I’m experiencing. Nor, is it a trance state.

There is also a feeling of an intelligent force beyond me that is shining and revealing everything encircling this field around me. I sense intensity in this crystal home but it is more a benevolent healing frequency that bears no burden. It is like swimming in a crystal sea that has miraculous powers of purification, but there is no water. With every breath I am aware of this soft and natural light moving in me and around me. It is as if the light is filling every cell and each cell is opening to grace. There is an endless fountain of love to move in and with. It belongs to me and I am very grateful to all of my great teachers who embody this light and have lived in this truth. They have been so patient and so kind.

I am myself, truly and peacefully. As I extend into this light, I am saddened that there are people who are outside of this light. My wish is that everyone comes to know the light of their own Self. The crystal palace, as Rudy named it, is “home sweet home”. I want everyone to bathe in this soft water of love.

Healing resides in the crystal palace of the sambogakaya realm. I have found myself enveloped by light that embraces time and dissolves the edges of limitation. In this natural surrounding everything is effortless. Healing descends in this eternal abode of light. There is an omnipotent field of possibility and it seems sealed off, like a room without walls. It seems sealed in a vacuum of light and the master healers are busy at work. I am in a timeless void and merge in this light. I am healed as well. I have come to love this process and know that this process loves me.I feel myself moving in this light and am waking up to it’s presence with such delight and joy. It is like a great Homecoming.

If you like, you may join me in entering this realm. There really isn’t much to do, I don’t think, because it will just appear. There really isn’t anything to look for, either. You may begin to feel yourself being supported by the most benevolent field of energy. You may feel that your heart naturally grows and expands. You can lean forward an inch and may become aware of a cushiony presence of light that is so soft to the touch. It is a loving presence and with it there is a deep recognition and total acceptance of your entire being. With every breath you are able to move freely and more deeply into this gentle but strong presence. You might notice a feeling of timelessness and support beneath you and all around you. Notice the feeling of being held and completely known by this gentle breath of light. This is the world of light, within you and all around you. You are being invited to know that this is your own true Self; this is your true home. Even as you open your eyes, and become aware of the world around you, the crystal light of beingness remains. This light stays on.

Written by Karen Ferguson

DZOGCHEN AS A PHENOMENOLOGICAL THEOPHANIC MANIFESTATION

2010-05-18T09:07:00.000-07:00

1. THE GREEK WORD PHANES MEANS APPARITION OR APPEARANCE….OF DIVINITY.

2. THE GREEK WORD PHAINO MEANS TO SHOW OR TO MANIFEST OR DISPLAY. TO APPEAR. APPEARING, SHOWING, MANIFESTING, APPARITION. PHANINO MEANS TO BRING TO LIGHT OR TO BRING INTO APPEARANCE. PHANEROS MEANS TO SHOW OR DISPLAY, TO MANIFEST.

3. PHENOMENOLOGY AS METHOD COMES FROM THIS WORD…THE EXPERIENCE OF APPEARANCE. ..THE UNFOLDING OF MULTIDIMENSIONAL APPEARANCE, THE ARTICULATION OF APPEARANCE AS KNOWLEDGE. THE PATH OF DZOGCHEN IS THE PATH OF AWARENESS WITHIN APPEARANCE AND APPEARANCE WITHIN AWARENESS. THE PATH OF PHENOMENOLOGY IS THE ARTICULATION OF APPEARING WITHIN EXPERIENCE.

4. THEOPHANY MEANS THE APPARITION OF DIVINITY WITHIN AND THROUGH APPEARANCE. DIVINITY MANIFESTING THROUGH PHENOMENA. THEOPHANY IS THE APPARITION OF GOD, DEUS…

5. AND SO AWARENESS AS YOU AND I KNOW IS MULTIDIMENSIONAL, THIS WONDERFUL AWARENESS MAY BE CONSIDERED A THEOPHANY…WE OFTEN THINK ABOUT THIS THEOPHANY IN ITS VERTICAL OR ASCENDANT HORIZON… THE GEOMETRY OF ASCENDANCY…OF MANIFESTATION. PURE AWARENESS UNBOUND OPENNESS OF DARK LUMINOSITY, ARISING AND MANIFESTING IS THE COSMIC LIGHT AND VORTEXES AND THE ARCHETYPAL DIMENSION OF THE DEITIES OR DEVAS OR DAKINIS…AND THEN THE ELEMENTS BECOME FLESH….ARISING OUT OF VOID, THE LIGHT AS ELEMENTS CONFIGURE AND CREATE THE POWERS OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND THEN THEY MANIFEST AS THE EARTH ELEMENT THE ELEMENT OF FLESH.

6. BUT THIS VERTICAL PRESENTATION IS ONLY AN IMAGINED GEOMETRY..AND SO THE THEOPHANY IS ALSO HORIZONTAL….AND SO ONE ENTERS THE THEOPHANIC DIMENSION DIRECTLY THROUGH WHAT IS IN FRONT OF YOU, BEHIND YOU, WITHIN YOU, AND ABOVE YOU…THE RELATIONAL WORLD IS THEOPHANIC.

7. OF COURSE THIS THEOPHANIC DISCOURSE IS THE MANIFESTATION OF LOVE, PURE LOVE COSMIC LOVE PERSONIFIED.

8. THE SINGULARITY OF LOVE , OF THE BELOVED IS THE SINGULARITY OF EACHNESS OR SUCHNESS...THE COSMIC WITHIN THE PERSONAL. IN THE THEOPHANIC LOVE, ALL LOVE IS COSMIC ...COSMIC COMPASSION AND PERSONAL. IN OUR POOR SOCIETY EROS HAS BECOME SEXUALITY AND A KIND OF DISCHARGE MECHANICS. BUT WITHIN GREEKS, DZOGCHEN AND MAHAMUDRA, AS WELL AS CERTAIN SUFI AND CHRISTIAN PHILOSOPHIES ALCHEMICAL LOVE IS EROS... AND OF COURSE LOVE MASTERS US. LOVE IS THE THEOPHANIC MANIFESTATION. YOU AND I ARE THEOPAHNIC MANIFESTATIONS OF PURE LOVE.

9. LOVE. EROS IS GOD..AND GOD IS EROS... UBI CHARITAS ET AMOR DEUS IBI EST.

10. IT IS NOT LOVE THAT THE LOVER FALLS IN LOVE WITH BUT THE DIVINITY MADE MANIFEST BY LOVE .

11. AS DANTI DESCRIBES IN HIS FIRST SIGHT OF BEATRICE WHO IS COSMIC AND PERSONAL. FOR THE DZOGHCEN SHAVITE AND AS WELL AS SUFISM OF ILB ARABI, LOVE IS COSMIC PERSONAL, LOVE IS ALWAYS THEOPHANIC..

12. WHEREVER YOU LOVE THERE IS GOD.

13. TRUE SPIRITUALITY IS AN ANIMA EXPERIENCE...PSYCHE. OF COURSE THE LOVE OF YESHE TOGYAL AND PADMASAMBHAVA IS A THEOPHANIC DESCRIPTION…AND THE ONENESS OF THE COUPLE SAMANTABHADRA AND SAMATABHADRI IS INDICATIVE OF THEONENESS OF THE MASCULINE AND FEMININE IN ONE PERSON AND THE THEOPHAINIC EXPERIENCE OF LOVE BETWEEN TWO.

15. THE PRACTICE OF THE INNER HEART ESSENCE IS A PATH OF LOVE, A THEOPHANIC PATH OF NON DUAL ONENESS, OF LUMINOUS FLESH,

16. SPACE MAKES PLACE FOR THE MANIFESTATION OF THE ANIMA …SPACE MAKES PLACE FOR THE ANIMA MUNDI. THE DAKINI IS THE ANIMA EXPRESSION OF PRIMORDIAL AWARENESS IN HER MANY FORMS. AS SOURCE, AS APPARITION. VORTEXUAL, AS HUMAN BEING AND AS THE EARTH ITSELF, THE EARTH IS THE DAKINI.

17. ALTHOUGH PATRIARCHICAL IN INSTITUTIONALIZATION, THE PATH OF AWARENESS IS THE ANIMA, GNOSIS , DIRECT PERCEPTION AND IS FEMININE. DIRECT PERCEPTION, GNOSIS IS LOVE ITSELF.

18. THERE WAS THIS AMAZING AND SECRET GROUP THAT CROSSED THE BOUNDARIES OF SUFISM AND CHRISTIAN MEDIEVALS…CALLED FEDEI D'AMORE, THE SERVANTS OF LOVE. AND THIS WONDERFUL GROUP WENT THROUGH SPAIN, ANDALUSIAN SPAIN, INTO ITALLY. DANTI WAS A MEMBER. A SUFI NAMED RUZBEHAN BAQLI OF SHRIRAC D1209 WROTE A TREATISE THE JASMINE OF THE FEDLI D'AMORE. MARSSILO FICINO WROTE DE AMORE, AND SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE LABORS LOST WRITES A DEFENSE OF THE FEDEI D'AMORE. THE SUFI IBN ARABI IN 1201 FALLS IN LOVE WITH A YOUNG WOMEN NAMED NIZAM AYN AL-SHAMS, meaning HARMONY. THE EYE OF THE SUN AND OF BEAUTY. SHE REVEALS THE SOPHIANIC RELIGION OF LOVE.

19. IF ONE READS THE TEXT OF DZOGHCEN AND THE MAHAMUDRA SIDDHAS ONE SEES OVER AND OVER THE VAST EMPHASIS IS ON HUMAN LOVE AND THE MYSTERIOUS CONJUNCIO AS DIRECT MANIFESTATION OF NON DUAL ONENESS.

What is the Wonder of all Wonders? The Unfolding of Awareness

2010-04-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

To experience the unfolding of the kayas of the awareness field, the dimensions of awareness, is to experience the manifestation of consciousness in ourselves and in the world around us...it is to experience the unfolding of gnosis, direct perception, as the ground of our being. This is a gifted experience...and at times this gift and manifestation is wrapped in the cloth of excess and saturation. The mystic life is excessive. It is useful to read and hear the lives of yogis ofi the various traditions i.e., The Play of Consciousness: A Spiritual Autobiography of Swami Muktananda, and The Lion of the Siddhas: the Life and Teachings of Padampa Sangye, The Life of Meister Eckhart, the Life of Ibn Al-Arabi, and the experiences of Namkhai Norbu, Yan Xin the siddha qi gong master, Lama Norhla, Kunsange Dechen Lingpa, Dudjom Rinpoche, Amma, to name a few.

There is a famous statement in phenomenology..."what gives itself,shows itself,what shows itself gives itself". Awareness manifests itself in you in so far as it gives itself in you and in as much as awareness gives itself in you awareness manifests itself in you. The field of awareness manifests awareness itself in us as us. Actually in the manifestation of awareness, awareness creates itself as the body of light in us as us...awareness creates and brings forth awareness in us. The experience of awareness is a gift and not a function of intentionality, of the mind as the noetic noema function ... awareness is not a thought, awareness is an experience of what is given...when asked who is god Swami Muktananda would say god is this fantastic experience that is within you as you.

The divine experience is not a movie, not outside of you, there is no distance, no distance whatsoever, it is your youness that is the place of manifestation.

The sense of subjectivity that takes place within you when you are located in your solipsitic mind, is not the same sense of subjectivity that takes place when you are in awareness of your mind, and the sense of subjectivity that arises out of your becoming aware of your own awareness is not the same sense of subjectivity as in those prior events of knowning. Subjectivity is a floating metaphor. The sense of subjectivity that takes place within the infinite unfolding of the kayas is subjectivity that is pure unbound and unbinding openness of the ground of beingness which is awareness itself...without reference.

As the kayas or as the dimensions of awareness unfold themselves in you as you as nirmanakaya, sambogakaya and dharmakaya, your subjectivity is the dimension. You do not have a kaya, you do not visit a kaya, aham ah I am that...these experiences of subject, experiencer is vastly different then your earlier experience of being a subject locked in the mind or locked in a particular function of the mind...like the affective function or the thinking function...such is the wonder of all wonders..translucent openness as flesh, translucent openness as light, translucent openness as pure potential space..unbound.

The very sense of subjectivity is transformed, disolved and reinvented within these developemental movements. The becoming one with the awareness field is not the simple expansion of mind, actually the mind may expand very little, if at all. The expansion is the vaste expansion of awareness..into gnosis, becoming knowingness...this is a gift that is given...in certain ways the mind never catches up to what has happened.

With each step in this step by step unfolding your sense of subjectivity transforms and is given...by the gift of awareness manifesting. In the begining of your life your mind contained subjectivity, containing awareness like in a bottle or in a vase...as awareness gives itself to you and shows itself to you as you, awareness then contains your mind, and you know less with your mind...with the functions of your mind and more through your unbound openness...ineffableness...and basic faith arises...confidence in your experience.

Since you are the receiver of the gift, the gifting of unbound and unbinding awareness, this gift of awareness with its intensity and ineffability brings forth suffering and bliss. The very fleshing of the luminous awareness in its incessant manifestation in your body stretches the receiver, the recipient, in every way possible. The manifestation of cosmic awareness in your body is excessive and saturating...as event, as iconic radiance, as flesh and subtle body, the saturation of the infinite experience in a finite body mind continium.

The receiver of manifestation is put in the situation of feeling the experience of unbound and unbinding awareness as their own self, their own fragile embodiment. The gift of awareness is not simply given into a subjectivity like a dollar being placed in a bucket, but given as subjectivity... subjectivity itself undergoes the alchemical gifting of self manifestation of gnosis. There is no distance whatsoever..and so the very structures of person are undone and redone.

The receiver of awareness not only receives what awareness gives to him or her , the receiver allows the given to show itself in so far as it gives itself in him or her. Awareness is not grasped it is received. As the receiver receives the gift of awareness, the receiver accomplishes or completes the giveness by transforming the gift into manifestation...according to what gives itself in you shows itself in you.

many thanks to Jean Luc Marion for his inspiration on the phenomena of giveness

Becoming Aware of Your Own Awareness

2010-03-13T20:02:00.000-08:00

To become aware of awareness itself is to open a vast area of experience. Most often people are located in their mind...in there thinking, feeling, sensation, memory, imaginal functions. Then one day they suspend their mind just a bit, and rather then their awareness being focused in their mind and the functions of the mind, they begin to focus on awareness itself.. and in that brief moment they begin to glimpse ever so briefly that there mind is not their awareness, and they may even experience the sense that their awareness is a field, and is infinite in its horizon and multidimensional. With this tiny shift in attention the very light of awareness itself begins to open up to them..with immediacy, ineffability and simplicity.