About Me

Rudy Bauer is a clinical psychologist and practioner of phenomenology and dzogchen awareness. Sharon is a psychotherapist and has practiced and taught meditation for 30 years.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Speaking of Consciousness

Speaking of consciousness, a smile arises with my breath, like the ocean waves coming into shore, happily greeting my toes. The smile extends there, into my feet. I sense the outline of my body, the substances filling it, the structure supporting it, the personality abiding. Past, present and future are all accounted for in time and timelessness. Traces of truth remain, as I watch the water dissolve into the sand.

The sun and the moon make great companions, but rarely see one another. One is hidden, the other displayed. Sometimes, they can be seen in the sky together, when they whisper as dawn breaks, our light is one. They appear separate; the sun and the moon, the forest and the trees, the sky and the birds, the water and the sand.

Speaking of Consciousness, my breath once again becomes a smile upon my face. The sun is there to warm me, the moon cooling my back, shooting through my heart's abode. It is here, it is there. It is in- between here and there. Mirrors surround and catch the image of the mandala, constantly changing it’s perfect display of colored seconds of time, washed clean with a crashing wave. Foam crested waters immerse what was held in that instant, sheer, like the mist. Don’t be fooled by the changing scenery.

Speaking of Consciousness, my feet want to dance. My arms want to swing and my heart wants to jump for joy. My hands want to come together, to clap, to pray. My body wants to twirl and reach to the sky, my nose wants to take in the smells of the dirt and all the rotting leaves and the chill in the air. My ears are free and sounds swirl through them. I want to give birth. My child is born of this smiling light. Countless babies of bliss bounce through the air, like bubbles or balloons making there ascension. They are gone now.

Speaking of Consciousness, all of nature take their places, like the pages of a book , blank until the words are written. What once was a black and white world has become a magical spiraling field of light, full of colors that have no names. The base is this radiance, brilliant light. Who is mixing these gorgeous hues? Who is the palette holder and who is creating this scene before my eyes? I’ve heard the name whispered in the wind. It contains all the letters and all the names and all the sounds. They swirl together like leaves falling, and delight in carrying them softly to the ground. The sound they make as they touch the earth, that is the name, speaking of consciousness.

written by Karen Ferguson

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Mudra of Time and Timelessness

Mudra of Time and Timelessness

The simple mudra of lightly touching the tip of the first finger to the tip of the thumb connects, brings together, time in timelessness and timelessness in time. This invaluable, easy gesture of the hand reminds us where we are in any given situation. It is a gesture that brings us to the precise and present moment of whatever circumstance we are in. In this shared instant of now, time and timelessness effortlessly balance one another.

If pulled apart or separated, time and timelessness lose coherence. Without time, timelessness floats with no meaningful ‘where’ in the vast and open oneness of singularity. And time, without its timeless companion, gets stuck, pinned, by its own overabundant focus on endless parcels and bits…fragments of occurrences, whether real or anticipated, of situations past, or present, or yet to come. In this way, time catches itself, ensnares itself, in the ‘thingness’ of events. With no abiding ‘whereness’ of time, we too become caught and cannot fully meet, cannot fully connect, with the moment of our situation. Without timelessness, there is no felt place in time in which to be.

And so, these two entities of timelessness and time provide a context, an unfolding frame, for each other; one holds both the other as well as itself. So too are we as ourselves, as your self and my self, simultaneously held in both time and timelessness. We can now know naturally and easily the ‘where’ of our situation, whatever it may be. In this way, we can meet a circumstance and take agency, for a place in time now has meaning. And at this triangulated point of self and time and timelessness, we can just be. Never lost to time, never lost in ‘no time’, this point moves like liquid light. It is the leading edge of light and is not different now from what it was several minutes ago, or from what it will be several minutes from now. It is compass and map and place all at once…pointing to now, now, now…a known time held always in the timeless present in the life of every situation.

The mudra…the index finger flexed and lightly pressing against the thumb, the thumb gently staying the finger…is method. We can now choose to be fully present in any given moment. The mudra gives us a way to do that: The beingness of our own being emerges and unfolds where time and timelessness simultaneously hold and release the moment of every circumstance. And we are here, living now from this place in the clarity of continuously flowing time.

Written by: Erin Johannesen, M.A., M.D.

Edited by: Rudolph Bauer, Ph.D.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

GAZING AS DZOCHEN



1. WE LOOK THROUGH THE MIND AND WE GAZE WITHIN AWARENESS…BECOMING AWARE OF AWARENESS IS THE PATH OF GAZING (WHETHER YOUR EYES ARE OPENED OR CLOSED)…WE CAN GAZE INTO AWARENESS AND WE ARE IMMEDIATELY THE FIELD, THE FIELD OF BEING. IF WE LOOK AND LOOK FOR AWARENESS WITH OUR MIND ONLY BLANKNESS ARISES, A BLANK STATE. SUNYATA, PRIMORDIAL KNOWINGNESS, IS NOT BLANKNESS, IT IS NOT BLANKING OUT. AS WE BECOME AWARE OF AWARENESS WE ENTER THE GAZE, WE BECOME THE PLACE OF THE GAZE…THIS GAZING FROM WITHIN AWARENESS OPENS THE MULTIDIMENSIONALNESS .…THE DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS OF THE FIELD MANIFEST WITHIN THE GAZE, WITHIN US . THE GAZE IS BOTH WITHIN US AND BEYOND US. WITHIN THE GAZE THERE IS NEITHER SIMPLE INSIDE OR SIMPLE OUTSIDE. THE GAZE IS PLACE ..A VAST PLACE BEYOND INSIDE AND OUTSIDE.
THERE ARE MANY FORMS OF GAZING. AT TIMES WE GAZE THROUGH THE EYES OF THE MIND, (HEART CHANNELS), WE CAN GAZE THROUGH THE ENTIRE BODY, WE CAN GAZE THROUGH THE HEART ESSENCE, HRIDAYAM. WE CAN GAZE THROUGH TOUCH, WE CAN GAZE THROUGH SOUND, WE GAZE THROUGH SIGHT. WE CAN GAZE INTO VARIOUS PHENOMENA…ALL DIRECTLY…UNMEDIATED..WE CAN GAZE INTO SKY, WE CAN GAZE INTO DEATH, WE CAN GAZE IN THE PRE PERSONAL, GAZING INTO SOMA, GAZING INTO THE ELEMENTS, GAZING INTO THE DAKINI, THE VORTEXUAL, THE ELEMENT OF FLESH, WE GAZE INTO PSYCHE..THE GAZE ITSELF IS PSYCHE, NOT MIND.

GAZING BOTH LEADS TO AND IS GNOSIS, JHNANA..DIRECT PERCEPTION. TOGEL, THE LEAPING OVER PRACTICE, IS NOT SIMPLY GAZING INTO THE SKY, ALTHOUGH SKY GAZING IS ITS CULTURAL AND HISTORICAL ELABORATION. IF YOU WISH TO LIVE IN GNOSIS THEN GAZE…GAZING IS THE MOST DIRECT OF METHODS.. THE GAZING METHODS OF DZOGCHEN ARE OFTEN SECRET AND PROTECTED.

2.GAZING BRINGS FORTH THE SENSE OF PLACE…LOOKING.. LOOKING.. BRINGS FORTH SUBJECT OBJECT DUALITY…LOOKING BRINGS FORTH OBJECTIFICATION AND CLARITY. THE GAZE UPLIFTS THE LOOK. THE LOOK LOOKS AT, THE GAZE ALLOWS THE VAST PLACE TO OPEN..HUMAN BEINGS ARE PLACES, OPEN PLACES IN THE SEA OF QI. GAZING IS A PLACE THAT OPENS THE PLACE OF PHENOMENA..AND GAZING OPENS THE MULTIDIMENSIONALNESS OF PHENOMENA, OPENS THE KAYAS.
GAZING INTO ONES AWARENESS ALLOWS US TO GAZE INTO AWARENESS WITHIN ALL PHENOMENA..IN GAZING WE BECOME THE PLACE OF APPEARANCE MANIFESTING, IN GAZING WE BECOME THE PLACE OF THE APPARITIONAL MANIFESTATIONS, AND IN GAZING WE BECOME THE OPENNESS OF THE DHARMAKAYA. THIS PLACE IS THE PLACE OF DIMENSIONALITY…BECOMING THE DIMENSIONS

3.GAZE IS THE OPENNESS OF DHARMAKAYA MANIFESTING AS THE OPENNESS OF LUMINOUS SEEING WHICH IS KNOWING, GNOSIS, DIRECT PERCEPTION, JHANA. THIS GAZING TAKES PLACE WITHIN AND THROUGH OUR PRIMORDIAL SUBJECTIVITY, NOT THE SUBJECTIVITY OF CONTAINED MIND, THE NATURAL OPENNESS OF US TO THE OPENNESS OF THE GREAT EXPANSE. GAZING IS AN INFINITE PROCESS IN THE SENSE OF ITS UNBOUNDEDNESS..GAZING HAS NO FRAMING, NO MIND PICTURE, NO MENTAL ELABORATION. THE BEINGNESS OF BEING MANIFEST WITHIN AND THROUGH THE GAZE…THE PLACE OF THE GAZE IS THE PLACE OF THE MANIFESTATION OF THE KAYAS. THE NATURE OF AWARENESS IS THE OPENNESS OF GAZE…THE OPENNESS OF AWARENESS IS THE OPENNESS OF THE GAZE..IN OUR HEART OF HEARTS WE ARE THE GAZE…INNERMOST HEART ESSENCE.

4. IN THE GAZE YOU DO NOT SIMPLY SEE AN OBJECT, YOU BECOME THE PLACE OF THE GAZE AND IN THAT PLACE YOU BECOME THE PLACE OF MANIFESTATION, THE PLACE OF BRINGING FORTH…BRINGING FORTH THE BEINGNESS OF BEING….THE BEINGNESS OF BEING MANIFESTING THROUGH AND AS APPEARANCE, NIRMANAKAYA. THE BEINGNESS OF BEING MANIFESTING THROUGH AND AS APPARITIONAL ..THE PLACE OF APPARITIONAL,THE SAMBOGAKAYA, AND BEING IN ITS UNMANIFESTEDNESS……AS DHARMAKAYA

5..GAZING IS THE FIELD..THE FIELD IS GAZING INTO THE FIELD. WHEN YOU GAZE YOU ARE THE EXPERIENTIAL PLACE OF THE FIELD. THE FIELD GAZES THROUGH MIND AND ALSO BEYOND THE MIND. ACTUALLY, A HUMAN BEING IS THE PLACE OF THE GAZE WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF THE MIND BODY CONTINUUM IN SPACE AND TIME. GAZE REFLECTS SOURCE AND IS SOURCE.

6. THE GAZE IS THE RADIANCE OF AWARENESS, THE OPENNESS OF AWARENESS, THE PLACE OF AWARENESS. THE GAZE CAN COME THROUGH EYES AND EARS AND SENSATION. IN GAZING YOU BECOME EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE.. A PLACE OF GAZE..BETWEEN HEAVEN AND EARTH.

7. EXTENSION IS A WAY OF LEARNING TO GAZE..IN SKILLFULNESS THE GAZE AND EXTENSION ARE IN ONENESS…..GAZE AND EXTENSION ULTIMATELY ARE IN ONENESS…SAMANTRABADRI AND SAMANTRABADRA. THE GAZE IS QI OF ONENESS. PASSING THROUGH IS THE ACTION SKILL OF THE GAZE.. GAZE IS NOT A SUBJECT OBJECT RELATION. GAZE IS THE FIELD WHEREIN SUBJECTIVITY AND OBJECTS MANIFEST AS DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS OF THE WORLD…ONE FLESH. NO ONE HAS THE GAZE..YOU ARE THE GAZE..PASSING THOUGH A PERSON, PASSING THROUGH CIRCUMSTANCE, PASSING THROUGH SITUATION, PASSING THROUGH THE BOUNDARIES OF LIFE AND DEATHLESS STATE, PASSING THROUGH MEMORY, PASSING THROUGH EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING. PASSING THROUGH IS SOARING, PASSING THROUGH IS BEING A SKY GOER.

8. IN AND THROUGH GAZING THE PLACE OF THE GAZE BECOMES THE PLACE OF THE MANIFESTATION OF AWARENESS IN ALL ITS DIMENSIONS.. THE GAZE IS TIMELESS AWARENESS IN DUALITY AND TIMELESS AWARENESS IN NON DUALITY. THE GAZE HAS RANGE. THE GAZE IS NAKED AWARENESS AND THE OPENING OF THE BEINGNESS OF BEING THROUGH ALL PHENOMENA.

9. IN THE GAZE APPEARANCES REVEAL THEMSELVES, APPARITIONAL DIMENSION REVEALS ITSELF, AND DHARMAKAYA REVEALS ITSELF. THROUGH THE GAZE EVERYTHING IS UNCONCEALED..THAT IS WHY THE GAZE IS SO DIFFICULT AND SO EASY.
THE GAZE IS THE APOCALYPTIC FIRE…THE GAZE DESTROYS NEGATION, DESTROYS HORRIBLE INFLUENCES AND DESTRUCTIVE INFLUENCES. THE GAZE IS BENEVOLENCE AND FIERCENESS. THE GAZE IS THE BLAZING FIRE OF THE SUN. THE GAZE IS THE VAJRAKILAYA, THE GAZE IS THE PHUBA. THE GAZE BOTH BRINGS FORTH AND THE GAZE DESTROYS, RELEASES WHAT IS TO BE RELEASED. OM RULU RULU HUNG HO RULU.

10.THE GAZE IS A GIVENNESS AND TRANSMISSION.., THE GAZE IS THE PLACE, THE LOCUS OF TRANSMISSION OF AWARENESS.

11. THE GAZE IS THE SOURCE OF INVOCATION AND BRINGS FORTH APPARITIONAL DIMENSIONS. WITHOUT THE GAZE AND NOT BEING WITHIN GAZE THERE IS NO INVOCATIONAL POWER….NOTHING CAN BE BROUGHT FORTH FROM WITHIN AS THE PLACE ITSELF DOES NOT EXIST FOR APPEARANCE TO MANIFEST. DESIRE SHOULD BE HELD WITHIN THE GAZE…THEN FRUITION IS POSSIBLE.

12. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE THE HUMAN FACE WITHOUT BEING IN THE GAZE. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE THE HUMAN BEING WITHOUT BEING IN THE GAZE. THE GAZE IS NOT AN AFFECT, AND NOT A SENSATION, AND NOT A DREAM. THE GAZE IN ITS FULLNESS IS THE MANIFESTATION OF THE GREAT COMPASSION, THE BODHICITTA. THE GREAT COMPASSION IS THE GAZE …JHANA DHATU.

13. THE GAZE GIVES THE POWER OF AWARENESS FIELD TO ANOTHER..WE TRANSMIT THROUGH THE GAZE AND WE CAN TRANSMIT THE POWER OF THE GAZE TO EACH OTHER.

14. THE GAZE OF COMPASSION IS THE GREAT PROTECTION…THE GAZE IS BOTH BENEFICENT AND FIERCE. THE FIRE, THE BLAZINGNESS OF THE GAZES, CUTS THROUGH TERRIBLE INFLUENCES, NEGATIVE INFLUENCE , DEMONIC LIKE INFLUENCE. THE GAZE LIBERATES, LIBERATES US WITHIN THE FIELD, DISSOLVING, METABOLIZING WHATEVER HAS TO BE DISSOLVED. THE GAZING INTO HISTORY DISSOLVES THE GRASP OF HISTORY. GAZING INTO THE VARIOUS PLANETARY ENERGIES CREATES ATTUNEMENT AND PACIFICATION. GAZING IS THE PATH OF LIBERATION.

15. YESHE TSOGYAL SAYS THE FEELING OF LOVE PERFECTS THE GLANCE. LOVE PERFECTS THE GLANCE AS LIGHTENING. THE EMITTING OF LIGHT, THE EMITTING OF BRILLIANCE, CREATING AND DESTROYING, DISSOLVING, RELEASING…RELEASING, AND RELEASING. PADMASAMBHAVA SAYS I GIVE MYSELF AS A SPOUSE TO ALL BEINGS.

ANALYTIC MIND INTERPRETING GAZING..MIND INTERPRETING PSYCHE……ONE DIMENSION INTERPRETING A MORE PROFOUND DIMENSION..HISTORICAL MIND INTERPRETING A HISTORICAL EXPERIENCE.


OM AH HUM, BODHICITTA, MAHA SUKA, JHANA DATU AH.

Monday, August 22, 2011

A Breeze Runs Through It


On my walk this morning, there was a beautiful breeze that revealed the scent of late summer, and the longed for perfect circumstances for basking in the sweet sunshine. There was a current of bliss riding on the underbelly of the wind, which was silent, but I could hear it calling to me. This current was hitting all my senses at once, even beyond the physical ones, and my heart heard a song softly playing. In this symphony of light and awareness, I walked. I was fully awake and tuned in without the noise of my mind tagging along. Here, my feet found eternity. Timeless awareness in now time, embodied. As I moved along, the displays of light and shadows, cool and warm breezes, sounds and silence, blue sky and white clouds, all joined in as the instruments in the symphony played their music like masters. Or, like a painter who painted with awareness for a canvas. Dancing leaves, trees tall and short, birds flying freely, all riding on the wave of pure and basic joy.

I did sense a presence behind and within the breeze that was so full and so deep and so palpable, and once I noticed it, I was in it. It captured me. The expanse in front of me became more clear, scintillating and dimensional. Everyone and everything, and what was not seen, were all included in the openness that surrounded me. The breeze was so soft that my heart felt like it was resting on a golden pillow. I was in heaven. My body was on the earth, and I was completely embodying this experience. I felt as if I was being welcomed home.

Muktananda, the bliss of freedom. The hub is the heart of all sacred places...Nityananda. Satchitananda: existence, consciousness and bliss. Lokananda samadhi sukum. The bliss of the world is the Bliss of the Self. Jesus: I am the way, the truth and the light.

The breeze of grace sweeps my path clean. I need only stay on it. Join me.



Friday, July 22, 2011

Outside the Window

I’d like to tell you a little story that is true....


One day, I had completely exhausted all of my usual ways of entertaining myself and I still had time to fill. I had played with my dolls and colored, and God knows what else. So, I decided to sit and look out the window. The next step unfolded quite naturally. I thought that I would experiment to see what something could happen while doing nothing. Something out of nothing! I was very curious about what might happen. But, I had no idea what! So, I turned our big cushy chair around to face the window and sat in it. I decided to just look at the big maple tree in front of our house and sit in the chair. And I waited. I just gazed. I think I had enough faith and curiosity combined to just simply sit and see. I felt empty.


That was the action within non action. I was opening to a possibility. Sitting there felt satisfying enough. And, I began to explore the tree very slowly. I was aware of how clear this picture was. I saw the branches and the different shades of black and the green of the leaves. My vision took in the shape of the leaves, baby leaves and really big ones, their directions hanging on the limb, the different sizes of the branches and twigs and how they were all so unique, like snowflakes. I traced their own path to reach the sun. I was lead to discover the space between the branches and a whole new world within that space. I noticed that I was very still and actively calm. There was a sweet, warm energy flowing in my body and mind.


Then, I began to notice something very interesting. And, very exciting and new! I couldn’t think about it with my mind! I was just allowed to notice it with my experience of what was inside of me and what was outside of me. It was like the window that was separating me and the outside just opened up. And, that openness was the something! The tree and me were having the same experience of “something”! We weren’t two separate things anymore, me and the tree. The “something” that was glistening cool diamonds of light sparkling in the tree and the sky and the branches and leaves was the same cool sweet feeling moving inside my whole body. I could sense myself in the tree and the tree could sense me and we perfectly still together even though the leaves were moving. We were occupying the same space. Just open light and love together, in this endless moment of pure awareness and being. It was all around me, in me, outside of me .and it was all the same. The tree was alive in me. It was in my eyes, my hair, my arms, my whole body, and I was inside of the branches and the trunk and the leaves and all the never-ending spaces in between. One becoming two and two becoming one.


When I experienced this, I felt so happy. I was amazed and very satisfied to know that there really was something in nothing, and that my question had been answered. I was very happy to be alive and grateful to know the secret living in the tree and in me. I didn’t quite know what to do with this information, but there was a completion in just knowing it. I saw the tree , went through it and found the sky on the other side. It was emptiness and it was fullness, simultaneously. Then, I heard my mother call me for lunch.



Written by Karen Ferguson


Thursday, July 21, 2011

Sambogakaya

Recently I became aware of another dimension of being, another realm of experience of pure awareness that seemed, at once, totally divine and totally natural. I would not be able to separate the two. In it, I moved, breathed and sat in a large expanse of energy that was a crystalline structure of infinite length and depth. The matter of which it was formed was that of the highest and most refined light and of the essence of purity. Trying to describe this dimension is like trying to catch a reflection of a prism on a sunny day. It was there only to embrace with the entirety of my being. Ripples of light danced on the smooth surface of a pristine blue lake, extending into the horizon, and into the depths below. There was a silent echo in this space. Being in it and of it, there was a soft flow and a natural protection around me, which was so comforting. I know this space so intimately and trust it so deeply. I know that this is not a dissociative or disembodied state of consciousness that I’m experiencing. Nor, is it a trance state.

There is also a feeling of an intelligent force beyond me that is shining and revealing everything encircling this field around me. I sense intensity in this crystal home but it is more a benevolent healing frequency that bears no burden. It is like swimming in a crystal sea that has miraculous powers of purification, but there is no water. With every breath I am aware of this soft and natural light moving in me and around me. It is as if the light is filling every cell and each cell is opening to grace. There is an endless fountain of love to move in and with. It belongs to me and I am very grateful to all of my great teachers who embody this light and have lived in this truth. They have been so patient and so kind.

I am myself, truly and peacefully. As I extend into this light, I am saddened that there are people who are outside of this light. My wish is that everyone comes to know the light of their own Self. The crystal palace, as Rudy named it, is “home sweet home”. I want everyone to bathe in this soft water of love.

Healing resides in the crystal palace of the sambogakaya realm. I have found myself enveloped by light that embraces time and dissolves the edges of limitation. In this natural surrounding everything is effortless. Healing descends in this eternal abode of light. There is an omnipotent field of possibility and it seems sealed off, like a room without walls. It seems sealed in a vacuum of light and the master healers are busy at work. I am in a timeless void and merge in this light. I am healed as well. I have come to love this process and know that this process loves me.I feel myself moving in this light and am waking up to it’s presence with such delight and joy. It is like a great Homecoming.

If you like, you may join me in entering this realm. There really isn’t much to do, I don’t think, because it will just appear. There really isn’t anything to look for, either. You may begin to feel yourself being supported by the most benevolent field of energy. You may feel that your heart naturally grows and expands. You can lean forward an inch and may become aware of a cushiony presence of light that is so soft to the touch. It is a loving presence and with it there is a deep recognition and total acceptance of your entire being. With every breath you are able to move freely and more deeply into this gentle but strong presence. You might notice a feeling of timelessness and support beneath you and all around you. Notice the feeling of being held and completely known by this gentle breath of light. This is the world of light, within you and all around you. You are being invited to know that this is your own true Self; this is your true home. Even as you open your eyes, and become aware of the world around you, the crystal light of beingness remains. This light stays on.

Written by Karen Ferguson